Training
The child wants to hug him, the dog gets up and walks off. Dogs and children can grow up beautifully together, with a few clear rules and an adult keeping an eye.
Your three-year-old wants to hug the dog every time she walks past him. The Labrador, who has put up with it for months, has started getting up and leaving the room. Or your seven-year-old wants to take him out on his own and teach him to sit. Or yesterday the dog growled at your child for the first time, and now you are wondering whether this is the start of something.
Dogs and children can grow up beautifully together. Plenty of adults remember their childhood dog as the best friend they ever had. That friendship does not happen by itself, though: the adults in the house build it, with a few clear rules. Below are the rules, what a child can do at each age and the signs a dog uses to tell you he has had enough.
Research on dog bites in children has shown the same picture for years. Most bites come from a dog the child knows, very often the family's own dog, at home, on an ordinary day. The child hugs him, leans over him, touches him while he is asleep or eating, takes a toy off him. In small children the bite often lands on the face, because their face is at the height of the dog's muzzle. The rules below start from there.
A bed, an open crate or a corner in a quiet part of the house, where the dog can take himself off whenever he likes. The rule for children is short: when the dog is there, nobody bothers him. Not to stroke him, not to fetch a toy. If needed, a stair gate or a pen separates the spaces physically.
When he is asleep. When he is eating or chewing something. When he is ill, injured, old and tired. In any of these, even a very gentle dog may react.
Children remember rules better as a game: "we stroke him like a kitten", "the dog has his own bubble".
An adult in the same room looking at their phone is not supervising. You are supervising when you are watching the dog and the child and can step in within two seconds. When you cannot (cooking, on the phone, changing a nappy), the dog and a small child are kept apart. Use a gate, a pen, the dog's open crate, or put him in another room with something good to chew. For both of them it is simply a break.
Almost every dog tells you he has had enough long before he growls. The small signs are yawning when he is not tired, licking his lips, turning his head away, "whale eye" (the white of the eye showing as a half-moon), freezing, getting up and walking off. The big signs are a growl, a lifted lip, an air snap. When you see any of them, call the child to you, calmly (the child, not the dog), and give them both something else to do.
A dog who growls at a child is telling you clearly that something is not working. If you tell him off, he learns to stop warning. Separate them quietly, write down what happened just before and change the situation.
Older children can play calm games with the dog. They hide treats and let him find them with his nose. They teach him simple tricks with treats and praise. They walk him with an adult also holding the lead. Games that wind him up (being chased by the child, tug with small children, rough-and-tumble) are best left out.
Never left alone with the dog. Not with the gentlest dog in the world, not for a minute. A toddler moves unpredictably, grabs, shrieks, falls on the dog and has his face at muzzle height. The dog only gets near the child while you are watching. We have a separate page on bringing a new baby home.
A child this age can learn the rules above but will not always stick to them, especially when excited. They can offer the dog a treat from a flat palm, throw his toy, help you fill his bowl, with you right there. The dog and the child are still never left alone together.
At this age a child can become a really good training partner. They teach the dog tricks with treats and praise, hide toys for him, come to a class with an adult. They can hold the lead on short, quiet walks with an adult alongside, especially with a big dog who pulls.
Teenagers can take on real responsibilities: walks, meals, nose games, even a dog sport. It is still worth reminding them that not every dog they meet in the street is like theirs.
A puppy nips and jumps on children because that is how puppies play. He needs frequent breaks and an adult who stops the game before it gets wild. An older dog with aches or poor hearing puts up with much less and startles when touched unexpectedly. A rescue dog whose past you do not know needs a few weeks of watching before you form a view on him and children.
Any dog can bite if he is frightened, in pain or pushed past what he can cope with. Many dogs who bite a child have never bitten anyone before.
Online they look adorable. Look closely, though: in many of them the dog is licking his lips, looking away, showing the whites of his eyes. He is stressed.
A child who scolds the dog, yanks his collar or "puts him in his place" the way they saw on television is at risk of being bitten. Training is the adult's job. The child gets the fun part: treats, praise, games.
Punishment removes the warning and leaves the fear where it was. Next time the dog bites without warning.
A dog with nowhere to escape from the children ends up defending himself. His own place, respected by everyone in the house, is the simplest prevention there is.
Most accidents happen in a few seconds, exactly when the adult is in another room.
You set the rules up in a few days and keep them going for years. Children forget them and relearn them, so you will repeat them many times, and that is normal. Dogs usually relax within a week or two once they have their own place and the children have stopped disturbing them while they sleep or eat.
The good signs: the dog comes over to the children by himself and walks away calmly when he wants to. When the child approaches, you no longer see yawning, lip licking or freezing. Your child asks you before stroking him. There has been no more growling. And the nicest sign of all is the dog going to find his child for a game of hide and seek.
Separate them at once, calmly. Wash the wound with soap and water and take your child to a doctor, even if it looks small, and without question if it is on the face. Check that the dog's rabies vaccination is up to date. Do not punish the dog.
In the same week, talk to your vet, because pain is a common cause, and to a behaviour professional. Until then the dog and the children are only together with a barrier between them. We have a separate page on what to do after a bite.
A trainer sees you all together, spots what slips past you in the rush of daily life and puts together a plan that fits your family. For a lot of children, an hour of scent games with the dog, guided by someone who knows what they are doing, is the start of a friendship that lasts the rest of their childhood.
What dog owners search for most often on the internet about this problem, with the short answer.
With short rules, taught as a game: ask a grown-up first, let the dog come to you, stroke his chest rather than his head, no hugging or kissing, leave him alone while he sleeps or eats. Repeat them often and show your child what yawning, lip licking and walking away mean: he has had enough. Older children can teach him tricks with treats.
Usually because the dog was pushed beyond what he could cope with: hugged, disturbed while sleeping or eating, cornered, touched where it hurts. Dogs almost always warn first, but the small signs (yawning, lip licking, turning away, freezing) go unnoticed, and growling sometimes gets punished. Pain and fear are common causes, as are toys or places the dog guards.
Not a child under 7 or 8, however gentle the dog. Small children move unpredictably and have their faces at muzzle height. When you cannot watch both of them, separate them with a gate, a pen or a closed door. With older children it depends on the child, the dog and what they are doing; a solo walk with a big dog who pulls is not a good idea.
Do not punish him: a growl is a valuable warning. Calmly call your child to you, not the dog, and note what happened just before: was he asleep, eating, holding a toy, did the child touch him somewhere? Keep them apart until you understand what happened, have the vet check for pain and get help from a behaviour professional the same week.
Separate them at once, wash the wound with soap and water and take your child to a doctor, especially if it is on the face. Check the dog's rabies vaccination. Do not punish the dog. The same week, take him to the vet and talk to a behaviour professional. Until then, the dog and the children are only together with a barrier between them.
They often come together: the same causes, plans that complement each other.
The wound gets 15 minutes under running water with soap, and the doctor decides the rest. Then you turn to the dog: why he bit and what changes at home.
Four months to go and a dog who sleeps on your bed. The preparation starts now, and there is one rule above all others: never alone together.
He leans against you, you stroke him, and a few seconds later he nips. It is almost never "out of nowhere": he warned you, or something hurts.
Needle teeth, torn sleeves, crying children. Play biting is normal in a puppy and it passes, but not by itself: you teach him how hard he is allowed to bite.
In Puppy Class and the basic obedience course these exercises are worked in a group, with real distractions and feedback at every step.